You can’t just love me when it’s convenient.
Your sadness holds no appeal for boys that aren’t fictional.
Brokenness doesn’t make a good story.
In a life that isn’t a book, you must put on a mask;
and you must wear it well.
Im drowning on empty promises.
Im choking on an old i love you.
today you asked me why I didn’t laugh anymore.
I’m not sure.
Why won’t you put down the bottle to hold my hand.
I thought if I gave you my body, you would take me heart.
What a lesson that you taught me.
My body belongs to me.
The choice to have sex, is mine to make.
You do not have any right to take my choice away.
You had no right to take my choice away.
although your marks have faded from my skin,
If you look into my eyes you might see them.
The bruises and bumps and scratches are reminders.
I’ve spent years claiming my body back,
scraping the feeling of hurtful hands from a child’s body.
I wasn’t just clumsy or unlucky;
You were just a thief of all childhood innocence.
Now what does love look like?
why do have to wreck my own skin to feel it?
Why are bruises and burns and cuts so loving?
Maybe someday you’ll love my heart as much as you love sex.
Why didn’t you love me
Why didn’t your touches hold affections,
Why was every look just lust.
I’m worthy of love.
I’m worthy of a man.